ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
