I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize