This girl is more easily done than said...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Come on in and take your pants off
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