What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We left the knife in your bed.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
