why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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