He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
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He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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