Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have fence marks all over my body
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
