I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
