Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
