considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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