isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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