people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
im on a boat
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