It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize