ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
