Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
