If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Everyone says I win the strip club
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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