the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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