I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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