You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Your cock deserves a montage
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
All the doctor said was why
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
