Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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