Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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