their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
