I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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