She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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