Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
