What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
