Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
