I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Acid is not a monday night drug
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
