your room smells of hookers.
And success
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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