Umm I'm too high to move.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
