I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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