Porn is love you can see.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
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