i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
