I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
