she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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