This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
