your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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