ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I believe in your delicious
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
