I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
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Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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