It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
