apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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