Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
