So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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