Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
my poor anus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize