i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
