Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
This toilet bowl is my home.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
