I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
