Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize