i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
