why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
