next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul