I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
