Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife