Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher