he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The feeling are messing with the penis
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops