i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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