He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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