and you said cock pushups were impossible
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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