I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
