i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
