all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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