I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
