unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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