You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
