everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
3 2 1 whiskey
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
